The Vampire Diaries and Consent

Despite a few exceptional moments, The Vampire Diaries has been fairly disappointing lately. The main bright spot in the last few episodes has been the Christmas ep, when Klaus killed all the hybrids. That was way cool. On the other hand, Caroline is a total jerk, the show still hasn’t resolved any of its race issues (Seriously, how long do we think Bonnie’s dad is going to last? He’s black AND a parental figure—I’m pretty sure he’s doomed.), Stefan’s acting like a spoiled child, and the show is incredibly over-reliant on the idea of compulsion.

If The Vampire Diaries wasn’t such an awesome show, I wouldn’t feel the need to criticize it so heavily. But for several seasons now, it’s been one of the best shows on tv, so when these problems keep cropping up, I can’t help but think that this show should be better than that.

The issue that I’m all up in arms over today is the show’s overuse of compulsion and its seeming lack of self-awareness when it comes to that subject.

In the TVD universe, vampires have the ability to compel—or hypnotize—humans into doing their bidding. They’ve used it in previous seasons to score an easy snack, easy sex, and to modify memories, just as a few examples. A couple of troubling instances from recent seasons include Elena having Jeremy’s memory constantly modified, and Damon using Andie as a sex/chew toy. Both of these examples bring up issues of consent that I don’t think the show has adequately dealt with.

Before Jeremy became a hunter, Elena had his memory modified several times to “save” him from particularly painful memories. In my mind, the show always presented this as an altruistic gesture from Elena, even though Jeremy was never asked if he even wanted these memories removed.

With the Damon/Andie example, I think his compulsion of her was clearly presented as morally wrong, yet none of the other characters ever confronted him about it. Even Elena, who is so concerned with the idea of Damon being “good,” never seemed to be all that upset about it. Which is odd, since Damon tends to be blamed for everything on the show, including things that he isn’t responsible for. He is the Mystic Falls punching bag, and yet no one bothers to stand up for poor Andie.

Yet even as I’m here referring to Andie as a victim, the rules and effects of compulsion are presented very inconsistently on the show. Sometimes the compelled is mindless and happy to be doing the vampire’s bidding, while other times, the compelled person can grumble and disagree and beg for mercy before still doing what he/she is told. The same goes for the ridiculous idea of the “sire bond,” which seems to be very similar to the idea of compulsion in that a vampire must obey everything his/her sire says.

The new conflict this season on The Vampire Diaries is Elena’s newfound vampirism and all that entails. Elena is apparently “sire-bound” to Damon as the show’s big “fuck you” to Damon/Elena fans. Instead of allowing the couple’s relationship to develop on its own, it is apparently the result of a different kind of compulsion.  To his credit, once Damon finds this out, he immediately tries to do right by Elena, albeit taking away her consent in a completely different way—by ordering her to stay away from him. Elena doesn’t get a choice either way.

Another problem is that no one seems to take Elena’s feelings seriously, even though Tyler was very specific that the sire bond only affects your actions, not your feelings and emotions. Elena tells Damon over and over that she loves and wants him, yet no one believes her. In fact, Stefan seems to be living in a permanent state of denial, and only becomes more determined to find the cure for vampirism.

Now that I mention it, can we take a moment to talk about how ridiculous this whole Race for the Cure (yeah, I went there) storyline is??

As soon as Elena became a vampire, everyone freaked out about how she’s not “supposed” to be a vampire. Um, what does that even mean? She is a vampire now. Why is Elena so special that everyone feels the need to save her from this horrible fate? No one threw a fit when Caroline became a vampire!

Anyway, so now that Elena’s a vampire, of course there might be a cure, and our boys will stop at nothing until they find it. And the sire bond just gives Stefan yet another reason to be obsessed with the search—if she’s cured, the sire bond will be broken, and Elena can finally make a choice, even though… she already did? Seriously, this show needs to make up its damn mind as to whether or not the sire bond/ compulsion affects people’s feelings. 

All of these are really interesting issues. The problem is, as much as I love it, I’m not sure the show is sophisticated enough to answer these questions. I get the feeling that, even if the writers recognize these issues of consent that they’re raising, we might not get any satisfying resolutions. And in an era where consent is already such a muddy issue in our culture and legal system, that could present a real problem.

Classic tv: Six Feet Under, Season 5

 I have this horrible habit of buying whole seasons of tv shows I’ve never seen because I don’t want to wait for Netflix to send them one disc at a time (even though I’m actually a really slow tv watcher). So I bought the whole series of Six Feet Under after falling in love with the first few episodes last summer. I found the show, about a family of funeral directors, to be really quite powerful. The Fishers, the show’s central dysfunctional family, should be annoying, but the writing and acting is so deft that I ended up sympathizing with all of them.

But now that I’m in the middle of the fifth season, I’m now facing the fact that once it’s over, I’ll have five seasons worth of DVDs that I’ll never watch again. The downhill slope really started for me sometime around season four, when David was abducted and tortured for a whole episode. I can’t even articulate why, but that particular hour of television almost made me stop watching the show altogether. But I’ve stuck it out and so far continue to be disappointed.

Now that the show is almost done, all of those incredibly flawed but still well-rounded and sympathetic characters are now downright unlikable. In season one, the only characters I downright disliked were Brenda and Keith. Now, everyone has done a 180. Keith and Brenda are fine, but everyone else (with the exception of David—who is forever awesome) is completely awful—I’m looking at you, Claire, Ruth, Rico, and Nate.

I’m all for complex, dynamic characters, but when most of your cast loses everything that makes them human or relatable, your show has a real problem. And it’s pretty sad to think that I’m actually relieved to be nearing the end of what was once a really great show—and the prospect of getting rid of all those damn discs.

Happiness is... a good cup of coffee.

So I recently bought a French press, and it's really brought my coffee addiction to a whole new level. Is there anything better than a warm, aromatic, sweet cup of coffee?

Doctors have all sorts of opinions over whether coffee is actually good for you, but really, who cares? When something so simple can make your day so much easier to endure, I say it's worth it.

Happiness is... videos of adorable animals.

I'm not sure why, but this makes me laugh and laugh. Happy Halloween!

Happiness is... mocking ridiculous things

I think part of being happy is just making sure to live mindfully and actually notice the good things. That's why I'd like to start a series of posts just about things that make me happy.

The first is Ellen's endorsement of Bic For Her pens. How did we live for so long using man-pens?

Depression hurts

I had a student once who came to me with the idea of writing a paper over how she doesn't believe in anti-depressants. Upon talking to her further, it became clear that she actually didn't have much of a clue as to what she was talking about, but it's attitudes like hers that may have kept me from the help I needed for so long.

I've suffered from depression for well over a decade, but have only taken medicine for a couple of years. I was depressed, but I was really good at hiding it, and my parents apparently explained what they did see away as normal teenage angst. So I never got help, and somehow I convinced myself that I could think my way out of it-- if I just got really into religion, if I started meditating, if I had a different personality-- I wouldn't be depressed anymore.

Everything came to a head about 3 years ago, though. I had just gotten my M.A. and didn't have a job, so I moved back in with my parents, which was... an adventure. I love my mother dearly, but she also has her share of crazy, and her crazy and mine don't mix very well. Plus, I was substitute teaching and working a night job, and basically hated life. My symptoms also got a lot worse. I would fly into rages at the least provocation, start crying for no reason, and try to make a martyr of myself. It was past time to see a doctor.

And the truth is, life is much better now. The pills didn't turn me into some zombie; I'm still myself. I still feel sad, but I'm better able to deal with it now. My dog has finally gotten to a point where he doesn't automatically hide when I start to cry for some reason. I still sometimes feel guilty about trying to manage my feelings with chemicals, but I'm still so fucked up in other ways that life seems a bit more manageable now.

How not to be an asshole on social media

I know it's the "in" thing right now to take social media fasts, and I definitely understand the impulse. The trouble is, for many people, social media is the best, or only, way to keep track of friends and family who live all over the world. For example, I live in the-middle-of-nowhere, Texas, and Facebook is sometimes the only contact I have with people I actually like.

I think the problem many people have with social media is the fact that people are assholes. And no, I'm not new to the Internet. I've always known this. Many people are assholes just for the sake of being assholes, and the Internet just makes it easier for them. But I think some people genuinely don't understand that their behavior is shitty, and they need someone to call them out on it.

In my mind, and YMMV, but I feel like Facebook is a place for people to post things that interest them, things they're doing, and things that make them happy-- to benefit themselves and so that their friends can get to know just who you are. I may not be into everything my friends post, and I may not agree with them all the time, and if that's the case, I have several options: I can ignore that particular post, I can unfriend or unsubscribe to that person, or I can humbly argue with them. In my mind, arguments aren't forbidden on Facebook, as long as they're mature and respectful, and the arguer understands that the OP should get the last word (because after all, you're posting on their wall).

Sometimes, you have to be firm and unfriend those who don't follow these rules. I knew friending my mom on Facebook would be a problem from the start, and I was confirmed in that belief a few weeks ago when I posted something in support of gay marriage on my wall. My mom responded by posting a bunch of Bible verses, which is fine, but the argument eventually became hurtful when she called and asked me to unfriend everyone who had anything to do with my parents' church-- because I was making them look bad.

I think Pinterest is also really interesting territory, because you don't really have any control over who follows you. I really enjoy Pinterest because it's a really convenient place to keep internet sites and pictures that make you happy. The problem, however, lies with the ability to comment on other people's pins. Actually, I wish that wasn't even a feature. In my opinion, the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" should be true. If a person posts something that they enjoy, don't shit all over it in the comments.

I especially see this basically every time someone posts a picture of President Obama. For every picture, 5000 people take it upon themselves to comment that they hate him. If you hate President Obama that much, leave the people that like him alone and post anti-Obama crap on your own boards. Similarly, if you wouldn't personally get the tattoo that someone likes, who gives a fuck? I don't need to know about that.

So if you expect to have any facebook friends or Pinterest followers in the future, do us all a favor: don't be an asshole.

The Pursuit of Perfection

Warning: This post contains major spoilers of Black Swan.

One of my former students came to see me the other day, and somehow the conversation turned to how much we both liked the movie Black Swan. Yet the reason for his enjoyment of the movie made me really uncomfortable, and at the time I couldn't put my finger on why. He said he liked the movie because it shows that perfection is possible (even though she had to die at the end).

If this is what perfection looks like, I don't want any part of it.

I think he's missing something fundamental about the movie. Yes, Nina achieved perfection at the end of the movie, but at a huge cost. She lost not only her innocence, but also her mother (and her relationships with all other people), her sanity, and of course her life (depending on how you interpret the movie--I don't think it's set in stone that she died at the end). Seriously, what that character experiences in this movie is not pleasant! In effect, she lost everything that made Nina Nina, all for the sake of being a perfect dancer. Some might say it wouldn't be worth it. And for someone to say that they got from the movie that perfection is possible--and a good thing--scares me a little.

Totally Sexy

The new season of Doctor Who has been on a roll so far, for the most part. The first two eps, "The Impossible Astronaut," and "The Day of the Moon" hit all the right notes. They've set up a couple of (most likely) season-long mysteries: the Doctor's death, and the little Time Lord girl. They were scary and funny. Plus, I'm officially in love with River Song and have completely gotten over my qualms about Matt Smith as the Doctor.

Now let's talk about this little girl for a second. I have several theories, and I'm not sure any of them actually make sense. Is she Amy's kid? That's certainly what we're supposed to think with the whole pregnant/non-pregnant Amy deal. But I can't help wondering if that's all a red-herring. Maybe she's River's daughter. Is she Amy/Doctor's? Maybe she's Amy's daughter with a "Time Head." And there's the theory floating around the internet that she is River, and River is Amy's daughter. After seeing this week's episode, my new pet theory is that, off-screen in "The Doctor's Wife," the Doctor and the TARDIS got it on, she got pregnant, and the pregnancy somehow transferred to Amy when she died. That's plausible, right?

I'm also worried about the eyepatch-lady that keeps showing up. If this season ends up being some sort of dream or delusion of Amy's I'll flip my shit--and not in a good way.

This lady terrifies me, and not in a good way.

“The Curse of the Black Spot” has been the season’s only real misstep so far. But even despite plot holes big enough—as one forum commenter put it—to drive a TARDIS through, it was still a fun episode. Not nearly as bad as, say, “Love and Monsters,” “Fear Her,” or “The Great Dalek Caper” episodes.

What I really want to talk about, though, is “The Doctor’s Wife.” I’ve been excited for this episode since I heard it was written by Neil Gaiman. My favorite comic writer and my favorite tv show? Yes, please!

With the title, I assumed this would be a River-centric episode, which is definitely no problem for me, but what we got was even better (Although there was that cryptic reference to River near the end—what was that about?).

I have this weird obsession with the TARDIS—she’s the last thing left of the Doctor’s home planet, and the two do seem to have a very intimate relationship. In “Parting of the Ways,” it always seemed like Rose and the TARDIS worked together to save the Doctor (“I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me”), the man they both loved, and I always had the weird feeling that when Rose said,” I want you safe, my Doctor,” the TARDIS was speaking through her. Either way, Rose and the TARDIS seemed to have come to a mutual understanding. One reason Rose has always been my favorite companion is that she got to know the TARDIS on an intimate level and always respected and loved her.

That’s also why I was so offended when the Doctor snapped his fingers to open the TARDIS in “Forest of the Dead”—a lack of basic respect.

HATE!

Anyway, so I love how this relationship is basically this weird epic romance, and that the show acknowledges that in this episode. We get to know the TARDIS as a person—and she’s weird and wonderful and more than a bit crazy—kind of like our Doctor.

She also sort of looks like Helena Bonham-Carter, no?

And awesomely, we find that she chose him—she stole a Timelord and ran away with him. Her love for him, and the tragic nature of that love, is both beautiful and sad. In many ways, the story resembles “The Girl in the Fireplace”—a ship who’s a woman/ a woman who’s a ship—and the ending is just as sad and inevitable.

So I think my new theory about Amy’s pregnancy is totally plausible. It would definitely do some timey-wimey madness to a pregnancy, no?

Which reminds me:

Dear Writers, The Doctor never needs to use the phrase “spacey-wacey” again, is that clear? It makes him sound like a toddler—in an uncomfortable way, not a cute way. “Timey-wimey” is sort of cute—though not as cute as you clearly think it is. “Spacey-wacey” is just embarrassing for everyone involved. Thanks.

The Vampire Diaries Season 2 Finale Or, Why It Should Have Ended Last Week

It's my blog and I can use this picture if I want to.

This past Thursday was the season finale of The Vampire Diaries. I've made it clear before that I love this show. The characters are engaging, the episodes are incredibly action-packed, and there is lots of pretty. That said, the fast-paced episodes can potentially be a problem for the show's writers when all the elements of a season finale occur in the penultimate episode and the writers have to try to top that in their actual finale.

Some of the major plot points of last week's episode: Elena, vamp-Jenna, and Jules are in place as the sacrifices for Klaus's ritual; Jules is killed; Stefan shows up asking to take Jenna's place in the ritual; Klaus stabs Stefan and kills Jenna anyway, then completes the ritual; Elena dies, but is brought back to life by a spell done by the gang, which kills Uncle/Daddy John; Elijah is set to kill Klaus but stops when Klaus promises to reunite Elijah with the rest of their family; Jenna's funeral; Damon tells Stefan he was bitten by were-Tyler and is now condemned to death.

Whew! Got all that? It's the perfect season finale, ending with several deaths and a couple of major cliffhangers. It's no wonder that the actual finale can't live up to all that.

I'm not saying the finale isn't a good, solid episode. It is. It just should have been the first ep of the 3rd season. Instead, the show is starting new story arcs that won't be picked up until the new season actually starts.

It begins with the gang, especially Elena and Jeremy, attempting to deal with Jenna's death. Elena convinces Jeremy that they have to try to get along normally, and eventually things will get easier. Stefan immediately spills the beans to Elena about Damon's wolf bite, breaking his promise to Damon, which is typical. Damon has been dealing with his impending death by attempting to apologize to Elena for force-feeding her his blood, then drinking and trying to kill himself by hanging out in the sunlight without his ring (he's stopped by Stefan, who insists they'll find a cure).

Stefan ends up going to Klaus looking for that cure, who conveniently has it... his blood. After killing Elijah (who, like Damon, seems to always get fucked over by those he loves), Klaus agrees to give Damon the cure... for a price. Stefan must fall back off the blood wagon and run away with him (not like that... although a girl can dream). He agrees, Damon is cured, the end. Also, Sheriff Liz shot and killed Jeremy, Bonnie brought him back to life with a spell, and now he can see vampire ghosts.

The good:

Ian Somerhalder's mortally ill Damon. Somerhalder did not bring the pretty this ep, which is actually a good thing. Dude looked and sounded like he was actually dying. Though no one who has watched this show for any length of time actually thought Damon would die, Somerhalder's acting really did make it seem like there was a chance.

Most of Damon's scenes with the other characters. His apology to Elena at the beginning of the ep was spot-on. I also really liked Stefan's refusal to accept his brother's death and willingness to do anything to cure him (including becoming Klaus's lover... was I the only one hoping for this?). It's always nice to see the brothers acting like they actually care about each other. Also, Damon's friendship with Alaric gives me the warm fuzzies--though I still don't understand why people (including Damon) keep insisting that Jenna's death was Damon's fault.

Liz knows about Caroline and actually seems to accept her now! Caroline is my favorite and it's nice to see things go right for her once in awhile. Chick deserves it.

The not-so-good: To be fair, I don't actually know how to fix a lot of these things. They just seemed like mis-steps to me. Which is why I don't write for a tv show.

Damon's cure just seemed awfully easy to find, especially after Rose's death. I get that it wasn't actually easy to obtain, but it seems pretty obvious that the blood of a werewolf (or was it just Klaus's blood?) will heal a werewolf bite. Where's Tyler when you need him?

Damon's deathbed scene. So cliche! I had been basically enjoying Damon's redemption arc until this episode. He's turned into a really heroic guy who does some stupid things along the way. This is just a terrible way to end that arc. A deathbed tear-fest with a loving Elena mopping his brow? I kept having flashbacks to Little Women and Sense & Sensibility. Damon has become the damsel dying of the consumption confessing her sins and desperately begging for the forgiveness of those she might have offended with her paltry wrongs. It's so pathetic!

Elena kissing Damon was sweet, I guess, but I find myself holding out hope that Damon will find a nice bad-ass lady vamp who will actually love him for who he is, and bring out the best in him without holding him back or trying to neuter him. Also, when Elena insisted she liked Damon "just as he is," did anyone get inappropriate flashbacks to Bridget Jones's Diary?

Maybe if Elena had been wearing a reindeer jumper.

The only way they can make this storyline work for me is if Stefan, Elena, and Damon have a threesome. There, I said it.

Liz kills Jeremy. I'm starting to hate this whole "magic ring" mythology. So it works if Jeremy is killed by a vampire, but not by a human? And it works if a vampire is killed by either a human or a vampire? Why does it matter for humans who does the killing? I really don't understand how someone can come back to life after having his neck snapped or being pushed down the stairs as long as it's Damon (or some other vamp) that does the deed. Also, why doesn't the ring protect Damon from werewolf bites? Honestly, it seems like the complicated nature of this particular mythology is just a really convenient way to get Jeremy where the writers want him in next season's plot.

On a similar note, though, I hate that Bonnie uses a spell to bring Jeremy back to life. Now that it's established that this can happen, why the hell couldn't Bonnie have brought back Jenna, or her grams, for that matter.

Sorry to complain so much, but this is just lazy writing. A season finale is supposed to get someone really excited for the next season, but right now all I'm doing is obsessing over plot holes, so obviously this episode did not do its job. Oh well, despite all this, the season as a whole has been spectacular, and one relatively bad episode can't take that away. I'm still looking forward to next season and hoping some of my issues will be taken care of.

Misogynist Bastards and the Women Who Obsess Over Them

Okay, so I haven't been as good about updating as I thought I would, but that won't stop me from trying! Right now, I feel the need to talk about my latest obsession:

Yeah, a season and a half in and I'm still a little uncomfortable admitting this out loud.

However, it's actually a really good show. Definitely better than the average teen show. Yes, it lacks the sex and gore of True Blood and the... sparkliness of Twilight--actually I'm lying. This show is about 400% better than anything Twilight has to offer. And yes, it has serious issues in the race department--all of the people of color on the show are either cannon fodder or witches (the "magical Negro," anyone?)--but I'm hoping the writers will eventually listen to the critics and iron out these issues. Because despite its problems, The Vampire Diaries is definitely worth watching .

The writing and acting are surprisingly good, and it tends to be really fast-paced and exciting. The show's lead, Nina Dobrev, has turned out to be a promising actress, playing two completely different roles--sweet, determined high-school girl Elena and evil vampire Katherine--with skill.

And the titular vampires in question, brothers Stefan and Damon Salvatore, ably played by Paul Wesley and Ian Somerhalder, are both extremely likable characters in their own ways. Stefan, the less evil of the pair, is the love interest of Elena--the Angel to Damon's Spike, if you will. But unlike Buffy's Angel, Stefan actually seems like he'd be fun to hang out with, and is beginning to show an interesting dark side that could possibly rival his brother's.

And Damon? Well, we'll get to Damon in a minute....

This week's episode partially centered on my personal favorite character, Caroline, a stuck-up beauty queen turned badass vampire. Caroline's had a difficult time of it. She spent much of her human time on the show being used as a sex toy/snack by Damon. Then, when she was killed by Katherine/turned into a vampire, she was forced to compel her mother to forget she was a vampire and rejected her boyfriend, Matt, because she was afraid she'd accidentally hurt him. In the past couple of episodes, she's befriended newly-turned werewolf, Tyler, putting herself in immense danger, as one bite from a werewolf is fatal to a vampire.

So, in this past episode, some of Tyler's werewolf buddies kidnapped my Caroline to lure Stefan and Damon to them, keeping her in a tiny cage and torturing her in the process! Poor Caroline managed to escape with the reluctant help of Tyler, but it was obvious that the experience affected her deeply. Also, when Elena and Bonnie showed up for a sleepover at the end of the episode, I may have cried a little. Shut up.

So, with my love for Caroline in mind, one might be surprised to learn of my obsession with Damon Salvatore, no? So the guy's basically a rapist, definitely a psychopath, and also fits into my growing (and slightly alarming) list of favorite sci-fi characters who are misogynist bastards: Spike, Gaius Baltar, and the hero of Canton--the man they call Jayne. So what's with me and sci-fi assholes? Frankly, I don't know, except they often tend to be the most entertaining characters, and I'm also a sucker for a good redemption story, which is what Damon's arc (hopefully) is turning out to be. And another thing:

Yeah, so the other night's episode began in the shower, and ended in the bath. What else can I say, the writers apparently love him too.

Anywho, aside from the pretty, like I said, Damon seems like he's headed for some form of redemption, though it may be a long time coming. But this doesn't make him just another Spike. Though Spike, too, was a hottie, I was never a fan of how his story turned out. I was one of the few who didn't mind the chip-in-the-head storyline, and his subsequent crush on Buffy. I thought the chip was a nice device to make Spike just vulnerable enough to start realizing his true nature. What I took issue with was the restoration of Spike's soul.

I didn't buy the whole "soul" mythology of Buffy. Aside from being wildly inconsistent, it didn't make a whole lot of sense. Buffy's insistence that Spike was good "because he has a soul!" was patently ridiculous. Creatures with souls do terrible things all the time! Within the show, we had Faith, as well as Warren, Jonathan, and Andrew, for starters. Furthermore, it seems like when Angel was turned, he just became a more bloodthirsty version of his human self. But when he gained his "soul," he completely changed personality. It seems that Spike, when forced to stop killing for awhile, was much more similar to his human nature, even without this so-called soul.

Basically, I think his story would have been much more compelling if Spike hadn't gained a soul, but instead had his chip removed and decided to be a good(-ish) person anyway. The soul, within the weird mythology of the show, forced Spike to be good, taking the choice out of the equation. I think the questions that would have arisen from a "soulless" creature choosing the path of righteousness would have been fascinating and much more challenging for an audience and the writers.

Okay, where was I going with this crazy tangent? So the "soul" doesn't seem to really be an issue in The Vampire Diaries, which I like. Vampires can choose to do good or evil, though the impulse toward evil seems to be really strong. I enjoy Damon, because he has some definite preconceived notions about what a vampire is "supposed" to be, but it seems as if his "evil-ness" is mostly an act for his own and others' benefit.

Don't get me wrong, Damon does really horrible things (rape and murder, let's not forget). But it's obvious that, though he does his best to hide it, he really cares about other people. His behavior toward Elena and Rose, and even sometimes Stefan and Caroline clearly shows us this. However, Damon perceives these "human" emotions as weakness, and so pretends not to care. In the last couple of episodes, we've seen this more and more as he's beginning to unravel under the weird of all of his conflicting feelings. At the end of both of these episodes, he basically Hamlets out, using women as his own personal therapists before either killing or feeding on them. So I think he's definitely going to get worse before he gets better--possibly heading for a major breakdown in the near future. But I'm hoping he'll find his way somehow before the end.

Either way, I hope the writers don't screw up his character. Despite his despicable deeds, Damon is a fun character with some real emotional depth. He can piss me off one second, and make me cry the next (kinda like Gaius Baltar). Just please, writers, don't give him a soul!

Overidentifying with Fictional Characters

I recently watched the Doctor Who episode "Vincent and the Doctor" for the first time without anyone else around, and I was a bit surprised by my reaction. The first time around, it was one of my favorite Who episodes ever, and I was definitely moved by it. This time, though, I was full-on weeping.

It's not like I haven't cried over Who episodes before, because I definitely have. I've done some hard-core crying over that show. But in the past, it's almost always been when we've lost a character we've grown to know and love over an entire season--like Rose, Donna, or Ten. But it seems a bit strange to be so emotional over one episode where fictional Vincent van Gogh fights an invisible space chicken and then travels to an art museum in 2010. I mean, come on, right?

So I've discussed this episode before. It's a great one, if flawed. Van Gogh is a heartbreaking character, and his chemistry with both Amy and the Doctor is astounding. There's something just painfully sad about him. He is lonely and mentally ill, and the way he reaches out to the time-travellers really strikes a chord with me. I also adore the physicality of Matt Smith's Doctor. My favorite thing he does is when another character is upset or afraid or overwhelmed, he'll put his forehead against theirs in a gesture that is caring, comforting and protective, and sort of unbelievably intense. I feel like if Matt Smith did that to me, I'd never be able to have another negative emotion again.

I've also had my own issues with depression--I dealt with it for years before finally going on antidepressants just a few months ago, which, by the way, was possibly the best decision I've ever made. So, like van Gogh with the space chicken, am I just starring in my own revival of Overidentification Theater with this episode? ....Possibly.

I've always been drawn to characters who are broken... or damaged in some way. Fragile characters. Nine and Ten are my favorite Doctors because they have this side to them. Behind the whimsy, there is a real darkness. Similarly, I was so attracted to the idea of Amy Pond because I love to speculate on what it could really do to a person who met the Doctor as a child--this wonderful being--and then was betrayed by him. I was so disappointed because I felt that the past season didn't delve into that aspect of her satisfactorily.

Characters from other shows really attract me, too. Firefly's River Tam is a great example. I love the "crazy" characters in sci-fi shows, because they are invariably the ones who reveal the deep, hidden truths about their universe: the Controller on Doctor Who, the Hybrid on Battlestar Galactica--they are incredibly beautiful. Even, to stretch the idea of a "character," Mondo from Project Runway was someone that I connected to to an incredible degree. After the second episode when he revealed how impossibly lonely he felt among the others in the competition, he was my unwavering favorite.

I'd be very interested to know other people's takes on why their favorite characters are their favorite characters, and why they get emotional at certain things, but not at others. Is it just a case of overidentifying and connecting more with certain "types," or is there more to it?

Awkward Religion

Moving sucks. But as a person of the religious persuasion, one of the most awkward things about moving--especially moving to a small town--is church "shopping." I personally don't affiliate with any specific denomination, and my particular religious beliefs are not mirrored or even supported by most churches I have ever heard of (although the UCC and the UUs definitely make me feel the most comfortable).

But even though my beliefs aren't what you'd call normal, I still like to attend church once in awhile, because I think that it's a good way to regularly get in touch with spirituality and the Divine, and to give thanks for that Divine presence.

Now, having moved to a very small town, there aren't a whole lot of church options. The first few weeks I was here, I found myself attending a Methodist church because that's where I went in my hometown, and I liked it there. But for various reasons, I decided that that church where I live now is not the place for me.

My experience, however, has been that whenever you visit a church, people are really happy to see you, and act as if they expect to see you every Sunday without fail from then on. Then, when you decide not to go back there, there are the phone calls. "Oh, we didn't see you this Sunday. We just wanted to make sure everything is okay!" "We hope to see you again soon!" "We're praying for you!" Later, there are the awkward run-ins at the store, football games, school, etc, and they always try to make you feel as guilty as possible.

So suddenly, what was supposed to be a personal decision between me and my God, turns into a very public thing where I'm disappointing people if I don't worship with them in their way. And you know that even though they're being really nice, they secretly think you're going to hell. And I shouldn't have to feel guilty that I'm doing something that makes me happy and comfortable. It sort of makes me not want to go to church at all, which is not, I think, what the church people are aiming at with all their concern.

Mondo Love

This is going to be the first of a few posts today. I realize I've been lax the last couple of months, but now with the move and the first six weeks of teaching under my belt, I finally feel like I can have some thoughts that don't revolve around students and assignments.

So here goes: Am I the only one who actually likes that Project Runway is now an hour and a half? I've heard a lot of bitching about it on the internet, but I personally think the extra time gives the audience a better chance to really get to know some of the designers (even though we may not want to know some of them so well--Ivy). Since the move to Lifetime, I haven't been as enthusiastic about the show, but I think this season is one of the better ones of the entire series. And I think the extra half hour is one of the causes of that.... or maybe it's just Mondo.

Seriously, I just want to wrap this guy up in a blanket, give him hot chocolate, and watch movies all night. He's that adorable. He's even cute when he's bitchy.

Maybe I'm just enthusiastic because I haven't had such a clear favorite on the show for awhile. Like, not since Hot Daniel. For the past couple of years, especially, I didn't really give two shits about any of the designers beyond appreciating some of their work. But Mondo has been my favorite basically since the beginning, when he cried about not having friends on the show. Since then, he's won the respect and friendship of basically all of the other designers, come out as being HIV positive (after hiding it for a decade), and is one of Michael C's only friends and defenders. Plus, his designs are friggin' awesome. The dude can put together prints and colors like nobody's business.

And how amazing is it that he put a mustache on his model during that hat challenge? Anyway, good luck Mondo! And call me!

It feels like Fall!

I think Fall may be my favorite season. Yeah, it's getting colder, and I'm always cold anyway, but it makes me seriously happy.

I feel like Fall is the time when I'm most connected with my spiritual side. I feel more connected to nature and the earth in the Fall and Winter. Maybe it's a death thing. Like, the plants are dying, animals are going into hibernation, birds are flying south. And there's Halloween... the time when we celebrate death and darkness. We're most mindful of our own mortality now, and it makes me feel... peaceful... and introspective. Is that weird?

Doctor Who Season 5, Part 2

(Many of these are a bit shorter, because I've already talked about them in previous posts)

Amy’s Choice is, again, an awesome story, and while the characterization is a bit better, it’s not perfect. Amy is caught in between two fake worlds: the Doctor’s and Rory’s. In the Doctor’s world, she is in the Tardis in terrible danger, but clearly having the time of her life. In Rory’s, she is pregnant living in a quiet village with her husband and his ponytail. Now, it’s obvious that Amy prefers the Doctor’s world, much to Rory’s distaste, because it’s not like she could ever have any sort of compromise (in the finale, perhaps?). Rory clearly thinks that just because Amy wants to have adventures she obviously doesn’t love him at all. Interestingly, in the end, Amy does choose both: Rory dies in his world, so she chooses the Doctor’s world where Rory is still alive.

Also, in an interesting twist, the villain of the piece turns out to be the Doctor’s dark side, and reveals a lot about the Doctor’s insecurities and self-loathing. The more I think about it, the more I sort of like it, because it hearkens back a bit to the darkness of the Tennant era.

The Hungry Earth: I actually like this one, though I’m not quite as enthusiastic about this two-parter as I was when they first aired. But the story is pretty good, even if nothing much happens in this first installment. Some good characters are introduced, like Tony and Nasreen, and some not so good, like Ambrose, whose only role is basically to be a bitch.

Cold Blood introduces two more bitches, Silurian warriors. I still like the story overall, though the politics of it may be ill-advised. Also, Rory is erased from time and space.

Vincent and the Doctor is definitely my favorite episode of the season, and possibly one of my all-time favorites. Despite a couple of weak moments and a lot of emotional manipulation, the chemistry between the characters and the acting just made this a joy to watch. The ending was bittersweet and just beautiful.

The Lodger: This is another great one. Amy is largely absent as she is trapped in a malfunctioning Tardis, and the Doctor investigates a mystery in an apartment building. The ep is basically just Matt Smith being adorable for 45 minutes, and is honestly the moment when I decided that I wholeheartedly embrace him as the Doctor.

The Pandorica Opens marks the returns of River Song and Rory and the death of Amy. Although it’s not really the return of Rory, because he’s really an Auton and a Roman Centurion (yeah, it’s confusing). Also it’s the return of almost all of the Doctor’s past foes, who blame him for the Crack and lock him in the Pandorica to stop the end of the world (?). Which leads us to…

The Big Bang: Again, it’s probably too confusing for its own good, but still a good solid episode. After an impossible bit of time travel, the Doctor is freed from the Pandorica, and Amy is put in because she is only “mostly dead” a la Westley in the Princess Bride. In a lovely bit, remembering his humanity causes Rory to retain his humanity (basically) and he guards Amy in the Pandorica for 2,000 years while the Crack continues to open and screw with Amy’s past life. Honestly, there are so many elements and ideas it’s easy to get bogged down, but if you go with it, it’s good fun.

So then the Doctor gets all “mostly dead” himself, boards the Pandorica, transports it to the Tardis, and sends the Tardis into the sun in order to stop the end of time and gets erased from history for his trouble. Whew....

So here’s the cool part: Amy lives her life over again, but this time she has parents and actually marries Rory (no idea if she’s any more enthusiastic about him this time around). On her wedding day, she remembers the Doctor, causing him to return to existence, thus completing the theme. Mr. and Mrs. Pond then fly away into time and space.

For one thing, I really like this episode because unlike every other season finale, this episode has a happy ending, which I think we were due for. This episode does raise many more questions than it answers. Some of which, hopefully, will be answered next season. The memory-as-creation theme is awesome, but did the stuff with the Crack and Pandorica actually happen because Amy remembered it? How does this effect the events of the entire season (most importantly, did the stuff with Van Gogh and the Lodger actually happen?)? Was the entire season a dream of sorts? What about previous Doctors? Were they erased from existence, too? Is the entire history of Doctor Who now rendered moot? Did Amy return them to existence (and other people’s memories) with her memory? How has Amy’s life changed now that her life has started over?

Also, as a side note, the memory theme is interesting in connection with Donna’s story. As per the end of the 4^th season, Donna is now half Timelord, but she’s not because she doesn’t remember it. If she remembered, it would be real and it would kill her.

Anyway, there is obviously lots to think about before the start of the next season. Hopefully, some of the above questions will be answered. And hopefully Matt Smith continues to be adorable!

Doctor Who Season Five, Part 1

I’m definitely late on this, but I really feel the need to do an overview of the Doctor Who season after seeing the whole thing and finding out how the story arc was completed. However, I should say that it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen the finale, and there were definitely some things that I missed/didn’t understand upon first viewing. So these are just my initial impressions of the season—I think a second viewing would really help, but I don’t have that kind of time right now.

Overall, I thought this was a strong season. There were definitely some low points, but when it was good, it was really good. Also, some of my opinions on specific episodes have changed in hindsight.

The Eleventh Hour: I thought this was an awesome beginning—a great entrance by Matt Smith, although I was admittedly unsure of him until near the end of the season (I apparently have issues with change). Here we meet little Amelia Pond, who is adorable, though definitely not normal. For one thing, she is way too mature for her age, and doesn’t seem to have any guardians.

Her strange life is made even stranger by the arrival of the Doctor, who completely charms her before taking off in the Tardis, promising to be back in five minutes. He doesn’t return for twelve years.

Now, a lot has been written about Amy Pond, some of it by me, and the sexism inherent in the writing of her character. Some have taken issue with the media focus on Karen Gillan’s basic hotness. Though I’m generally against objectification, I can’t help but take note of the fact that she is very, very pretty. That said, I have no problem with Amy’s job as a “kiss-o-gram,” and disagree with those who have said that this somehow means that the Doctor turned her into a giant whore. It’s refreshing to see a woman on television who is secure in her sexuality. I think Amy is screwed up, but in a way where she doesn’t know what she wants or even really who she is (and honestly, neither does the audience).

By abandoning her, the Doctor seems to have left Amy without any sense of direction or way to move on and grow up, and now he has to fix it, which he pretty much does in the finale. Looking ahead to that episode, which I admit I didn’t entirely understand, we find out that somehow the crack in Amy’s wall is responsible for her lack of a family, and the Doctor’s sacrifice fixes it. What we don’t really find out to what extent her life was changed as a result of the finale. Is she still a kiss-o-gram? Is she still in charge of her sexuality? Is she really all that in love with Rory? Maybe we’ll find out next season.

The Beast Below: This episode is one of those low points that I mentioned earlier. First off, there’s just some lazy writing. Queen Elizabeth asks her minions if the Doctor did “the thing?” for no other reason than to add mystery and to keep whatever stupid thing a secret from the audience. Like really, who would say that? Also, the Doctor is a complete dick to Amy for trying to protect him from the knowledge of the space whale.

Then there’s the space whale itself. The end of this episode could be seen as kind of beautiful in a way, but I have trouble believing that an animal who would willingly have lived in servitude to the humans would continue to do so after it had been brutally tortured for centuries. I feel like there’s a weird analogy to African slavery there. Also, the whale is awesome because it spared the children that were fed to it, but did we forget that it still apparently ate the adults? This just fails on so many levels.

However, this does mark the beginning of a giant theme throughout this season of memory. According to the recording, the people must choose to forget the truth, because if they remember, it will be changed, and everyone will die. Memory brings about change.

Victory of the Daleks was actually pretty forgettable, all things considered. For one thing, the Mighty Morphin’ Power Daleks were nothing but a blatant marketing ploy. However, this episode does further the theme of memory and ties directly to the finale. While I didn’t like this subplot the first time it aired, in hindsight I think the idea that just by remembering something, even something that didn’t actually happen, it becomes real, is an interesting one. The scientist becomes human just by remembering his (false) human life.

Time of the Angels introduces us to the concept that “That which holds the image of an Angel becomes itself an Angel,” which could be an interesting play on the theme of memories coming true. However, I really hate both of these episodes for what they do with the Weeping Angel mythology. Now, instead of sending people back in time, they just snap their necks, which just seems so… vulgar. And they have all these new powers, like stealing the voices of dead people and becoming stone just by an image. Perhaps worst of all, we get to see these angels move, which actually made them a lot less scary for me. The cool thing about the angels in “Blink” is that when audience was watching, the angels didn’t move. The camera and the audience literally shared in the gaze. And then the camera would cut for a second, and when it returned, however they had moved was so creepy. This episode was just disappointing.

Flesh and Stone: These episodes really piss me off. My big issue in these, though, I covered in a previous post. The fear of Amy’s sexuality apparent in the writers is just shitty. However, something I should have covered is the fact that Amy essentially sexually assaults the Doctor. She comes on to him, he says no, and she doesn’t stop; and the whole thing is played for laughs. Honestly, if the roles had been reversed, nobody would have been laughing or cheering Amy on or whatever. So there’s that, which is inexcusable, but there’s also the fact that the Doctor reacts by basically saying, “You’re not in charge of your own body and we need to get you married off ASAP to this guy you’re not incredibly attracted to.” It’s just problematic on so many levels.

One more thing: the Doctor says that Amy can remember the soldiers eaten by the Crack because she is a time-traveller, but unlike with the Doctor in the finale, her ability to remember them does not make them exist. I don’t really know what to do with that, but there it is.

Vampires of Venice was both cool and infuriating. I really like the idea of it, and the baroness lady was a great villain, although the raping fish aliens squicked me out. Yet again, though, the writers horribly mishandled Amy. This time, her fiancé Rory is along for the ride, and it’s clear that she’s more attracted to the Doctor than to him. The Doctor maintains, though, that once Amy experiences the thrill of danger with Rory, she’ll go mad for him again. And it works, suggesting again that Amy is an irrational lady with an irrational lady-brain that will go after anything once her adrenaline starts pumping. She doesn’t know what she wants, and if she thinks she does, she is obviously wrong.

Okay, that's part 1, part 2 will probably be posted tomorrow....

Minorities on Television: Were the 80s and 90s Less Racist?

I was flipping through the channels last night when I came across a rerun of Family Matters. Immediately filled with nostalgic childhood memories I watched for a few minutes, remembering the days when sitcoms were actually awesome. And the '80s and '90s really did have some great shows for the whole family. Besides Family Matters there was Full House, The Cosby Show, and of course, Fresh Prince. Oddly enough, three out of four of these shows feature almost entirely all-black casts.

What I find really remarkable about this is that everyone I knew back then watched these shows. They were for everyone, not just people of color. Now, however, the only show I can think of that centers on a black family is Tyler Perry's House of Payne, and I don't think I know anyone who watches that show. Otherwise, the only recent show I can think of featuring a leading actor of color that people actually watched is Battlestar Galactica, which actually had a fairly diverse cast. Besides BSG, there aren't just a whole lot of shows that feature minority actors on a regular basis. The ones that immediately come to mind are Dollhouse and Firefly, as examples of cancelled scifi shows, and also Glee, and shows with black sidekicks, like House, The Vampire Diaries, and Psych. All of these shows, however, have white leading actors with people of color who show up mainly to help the lead characters in some way or to serve as the episode's b-plot.

So does the decreasing popularity of shows with all-black casts signal that our television shows have become more racist since the early '90s? Or is it a good thing, since we're now pushing for more diverse and inclusive casts (although we're obviously not making as much progress as we should be)?

Was the heyday of Steve Urkel and Bill Cosby racist in itself? Maybe those shows were a form of segregation, so other shows wouldn't have to include people of color? The networks could say, "Look at these shows featuring black families! Their existence proves we're not racist!" Or perhaps the shows catered specifically to white audiences: "These black families are so normal! Just like white families! So there's nothing to be afraid of!" I'm inclined to lean toward this argument, but I'd love to hear what others think.

New Doctor Who Post

So, it's been a couple of weeks, and I haven't even mentioned Doctor Who. Obviously this must be remedied. I'm actually really excited about the past two episodes, "Cold Blood" and "Vincent and the Doctor," and I'd like to do a largely positive Who post for once.

"Cold Blood" is the second of a two-parter, following "The Hungry Earth." "Hungry Earth," while fine, is obviously the setup for "Cold Blood," and therefore doesn't merit a whole lot of comment IMO. Most people are going to talk about this episode's fantastic ending, in which Rory is basically written out of existence and everyone's memory except the Doctor's. Rory's exit is unexpected and very sad, especially following his death in "Amy's Choice," and Amy's desperation to get him back in that episode. At the end of "Cold Blood," Amy doesn't even remember that Rory existed, which is all the more poignant after her indifference to him in previous episodes even though they were supposed to get married. One might think of it as Rory's worst fear, as he was always very jealous of the Doctor and unsure of his position in Amy's heart. Furthermore, this ending mirrors the show's season 4 finale and Donna's loss of memory of the Doctor. Perhaps the Doctor's painful memories of Donna explains his vaguely paternalistic behavior towards Amy in the following episode. More on that later.

I think the rest of the episode is just as good. We have human nature rearing its ugly head as the Silurian trapped with the humans eagerly anticipates her death so that her people will start a war--and her wish is ultimately fulfilled. There are also some great scenes with Amy and Nasreen negotiating with the Silurians, and attempting to find a way for humans and Silurians to share the Earth. I was unsure about the use of the narrator at first, but I think it actually worked, especially after the ending when they decide to use religion to prepare the humans for the return of the Silurians, which I think is actually a really cool concept.

The next episode, "Vincent and the Doctor" was penned by Love Actually's Richard Curtis, and you can tell. It's totally cheesy in many of the same ways as Love Actually, and I love it in many of the same ways. In this ep, Amy and the Doctor travel back in time to meet Vincent van Gogh and fight a silly invisible chicken monster. Much of the main characters' fawning over Vincent's paintings and the painter's low self-esteem verges on "yes, we get it" territory, but the episode handled his insanity well, and the chemistry between the three was absolutely wonderful.

I'm definitely enjoying the Doctor more and more as he is revealing himself to be incredibly affectionate and tender in a different way from his predecessors. He allows himself a lot of intimacy with Amy--not in a sexual way--that's really adorable to watch. He's always hugging her, pressing their faces together, and kissing Amy's forehead in a way that I suppose could be described as paternalistic--especially as he's so concerned about her after her loss of Rory, which she doesn't even remember--but honestly just gives me the warm fuzzies (yes, I'm easy).

The defeat of the monster was weak. Apparently, it was just blind and scared, and Vincent kills it by accident, and then completely over-identifies with it in a way that's sort of embarrassing to watch. But the rest of the episode really makes up for this. There's a wonderful scene in which the three lie on the ground holding hands and looking at the stars (again, cheesy, but sort of beautiful), and by this point I was ready for Vincent to travel with the two for awhile. Luckily, he does get one trip: to an art museum in 2010 where he sees that he's become appreciated as one of the greatest artists of all time. Again, this scene had the potential to make you barf, but the actors really sell it. Tony Curran, in particular, is really affecting as the tearful, overwhelmed-with-gratitude-and-wonder Vincent. And while it may seem unbelievable to Amy that van Gogh still killed himself after their adventure, the show manages to make us feel okay about that, too.

Overall, I'd call these two of the most successful episodes all season so far.

Happy Memorial Day!

Okay, this is probably completely old news, but I never professed to be a history buff--especially war history. But I wanted to look at a different side of Memorial Day, without getting into the politics of the rights or wrongs of war.

Obviously, World War II had its share of badass ladies: women who went to work and took on what were then (and now, really) considered "men's jobs" to help with the war effort and make some extra money. But I hadn't, until this morning when my mom told me about a story she'd seen on the Today show, been aware of the WASPs (Women Airforce Service Pilots) of WWII.

While the MSNBC article says that "Their mission was to fly noncombat missions to free up male pilots to fly overseas," 38 of these women ended up being killed in service. Despite this, they received almost no recognition and weren't even considered veterans until 1977. These women "weren't considered 'real' military pilots. No flags were draped over their coffins when they died on duty. And when their service ended, they had to pay their own bus fare home."

They were awarded the Congressional Gold Medal in March 2010. WASP pilot Ty Hughes Killen remarked, "I really don't care for publicity but what I really do care about is the 900 or more that are already dead and gone and have not had the cognizance and recognition that I feel they should have for their families."

So when you go about your Memorial Day festivities, I hope you'll take a moment to recognize and reflect on those war heroes who tend to go unsung and unrecognized, and realize that there are a lot more people involved in war than we often see.