Totally Sexy

The new season of Doctor Who has been on a roll so far, for the most part. The first two eps, "The Impossible Astronaut," and "The Day of the Moon" hit all the right notes. They've set up a couple of (most likely) season-long mysteries: the Doctor's death, and the little Time Lord girl. They were scary and funny. Plus, I'm officially in love with River Song and have completely gotten over my qualms about Matt Smith as the Doctor.

Now let's talk about this little girl for a second. I have several theories, and I'm not sure any of them actually make sense. Is she Amy's kid? That's certainly what we're supposed to think with the whole pregnant/non-pregnant Amy deal. But I can't help wondering if that's all a red-herring. Maybe she's River's daughter. Is she Amy/Doctor's? Maybe she's Amy's daughter with a "Time Head." And there's the theory floating around the internet that she is River, and River is Amy's daughter. After seeing this week's episode, my new pet theory is that, off-screen in "The Doctor's Wife," the Doctor and the TARDIS got it on, she got pregnant, and the pregnancy somehow transferred to Amy when she died. That's plausible, right?

I'm also worried about the eyepatch-lady that keeps showing up. If this season ends up being some sort of dream or delusion of Amy's I'll flip my shit--and not in a good way.

This lady terrifies me, and not in a good way.

“The Curse of the Black Spot” has been the season’s only real misstep so far. But even despite plot holes big enough—as one forum commenter put it—to drive a TARDIS through, it was still a fun episode. Not nearly as bad as, say, “Love and Monsters,” “Fear Her,” or “The Great Dalek Caper” episodes.

What I really want to talk about, though, is “The Doctor’s Wife.” I’ve been excited for this episode since I heard it was written by Neil Gaiman. My favorite comic writer and my favorite tv show? Yes, please!

With the title, I assumed this would be a River-centric episode, which is definitely no problem for me, but what we got was even better (Although there was that cryptic reference to River near the end—what was that about?).

I have this weird obsession with the TARDIS—she’s the last thing left of the Doctor’s home planet, and the two do seem to have a very intimate relationship. In “Parting of the Ways,” it always seemed like Rose and the TARDIS worked together to save the Doctor (“I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me”), the man they both loved, and I always had the weird feeling that when Rose said,” I want you safe, my Doctor,” the TARDIS was speaking through her. Either way, Rose and the TARDIS seemed to have come to a mutual understanding. One reason Rose has always been my favorite companion is that she got to know the TARDIS on an intimate level and always respected and loved her.

That’s also why I was so offended when the Doctor snapped his fingers to open the TARDIS in “Forest of the Dead”—a lack of basic respect.

HATE!

Anyway, so I love how this relationship is basically this weird epic romance, and that the show acknowledges that in this episode. We get to know the TARDIS as a person—and she’s weird and wonderful and more than a bit crazy—kind of like our Doctor.

She also sort of looks like Helena Bonham-Carter, no?

And awesomely, we find that she chose him—she stole a Timelord and ran away with him. Her love for him, and the tragic nature of that love, is both beautiful and sad. In many ways, the story resembles “The Girl in the Fireplace”—a ship who’s a woman/ a woman who’s a ship—and the ending is just as sad and inevitable.

So I think my new theory about Amy’s pregnancy is totally plausible. It would definitely do some timey-wimey madness to a pregnancy, no?

Which reminds me:

Dear Writers, The Doctor never needs to use the phrase “spacey-wacey” again, is that clear? It makes him sound like a toddler—in an uncomfortable way, not a cute way. “Timey-wimey” is sort of cute—though not as cute as you clearly think it is. “Spacey-wacey” is just embarrassing for everyone involved. Thanks.