Awkward Religion

Moving sucks. But as a person of the religious persuasion, one of the most awkward things about moving--especially moving to a small town--is church "shopping." I personally don't affiliate with any specific denomination, and my particular religious beliefs are not mirrored or even supported by most churches I have ever heard of (although the UCC and the UUs definitely make me feel the most comfortable).

But even though my beliefs aren't what you'd call normal, I still like to attend church once in awhile, because I think that it's a good way to regularly get in touch with spirituality and the Divine, and to give thanks for that Divine presence.

Now, having moved to a very small town, there aren't a whole lot of church options. The first few weeks I was here, I found myself attending a Methodist church because that's where I went in my hometown, and I liked it there. But for various reasons, I decided that that church where I live now is not the place for me.

My experience, however, has been that whenever you visit a church, people are really happy to see you, and act as if they expect to see you every Sunday without fail from then on. Then, when you decide not to go back there, there are the phone calls. "Oh, we didn't see you this Sunday. We just wanted to make sure everything is okay!" "We hope to see you again soon!" "We're praying for you!" Later, there are the awkward run-ins at the store, football games, school, etc, and they always try to make you feel as guilty as possible.

So suddenly, what was supposed to be a personal decision between me and my God, turns into a very public thing where I'm disappointing people if I don't worship with them in their way. And you know that even though they're being really nice, they secretly think you're going to hell. And I shouldn't have to feel guilty that I'm doing something that makes me happy and comfortable. It sort of makes me not want to go to church at all, which is not, I think, what the church people are aiming at with all their concern.

Mondo Love

This is going to be the first of a few posts today. I realize I've been lax the last couple of months, but now with the move and the first six weeks of teaching under my belt, I finally feel like I can have some thoughts that don't revolve around students and assignments.

So here goes: Am I the only one who actually likes that Project Runway is now an hour and a half? I've heard a lot of bitching about it on the internet, but I personally think the extra time gives the audience a better chance to really get to know some of the designers (even though we may not want to know some of them so well--Ivy). Since the move to Lifetime, I haven't been as enthusiastic about the show, but I think this season is one of the better ones of the entire series. And I think the extra half hour is one of the causes of that.... or maybe it's just Mondo.

Seriously, I just want to wrap this guy up in a blanket, give him hot chocolate, and watch movies all night. He's that adorable. He's even cute when he's bitchy.

Maybe I'm just enthusiastic because I haven't had such a clear favorite on the show for awhile. Like, not since Hot Daniel. For the past couple of years, especially, I didn't really give two shits about any of the designers beyond appreciating some of their work. But Mondo has been my favorite basically since the beginning, when he cried about not having friends on the show. Since then, he's won the respect and friendship of basically all of the other designers, come out as being HIV positive (after hiding it for a decade), and is one of Michael C's only friends and defenders. Plus, his designs are friggin' awesome. The dude can put together prints and colors like nobody's business.

And how amazing is it that he put a mustache on his model during that hat challenge? Anyway, good luck Mondo! And call me!

It feels like Fall!

I think Fall may be my favorite season. Yeah, it's getting colder, and I'm always cold anyway, but it makes me seriously happy.

I feel like Fall is the time when I'm most connected with my spiritual side. I feel more connected to nature and the earth in the Fall and Winter. Maybe it's a death thing. Like, the plants are dying, animals are going into hibernation, birds are flying south. And there's Halloween... the time when we celebrate death and darkness. We're most mindful of our own mortality now, and it makes me feel... peaceful... and introspective. Is that weird?