Totally Sexy

The new season of Doctor Who has been on a roll so far, for the most part. The first two eps, "The Impossible Astronaut," and "The Day of the Moon" hit all the right notes. They've set up a couple of (most likely) season-long mysteries: the Doctor's death, and the little Time Lord girl. They were scary and funny. Plus, I'm officially in love with River Song and have completely gotten over my qualms about Matt Smith as the Doctor.

Now let's talk about this little girl for a second. I have several theories, and I'm not sure any of them actually make sense. Is she Amy's kid? That's certainly what we're supposed to think with the whole pregnant/non-pregnant Amy deal. But I can't help wondering if that's all a red-herring. Maybe she's River's daughter. Is she Amy/Doctor's? Maybe she's Amy's daughter with a "Time Head." And there's the theory floating around the internet that she is River, and River is Amy's daughter. After seeing this week's episode, my new pet theory is that, off-screen in "The Doctor's Wife," the Doctor and the TARDIS got it on, she got pregnant, and the pregnancy somehow transferred to Amy when she died. That's plausible, right?

I'm also worried about the eyepatch-lady that keeps showing up. If this season ends up being some sort of dream or delusion of Amy's I'll flip my shit--and not in a good way.

This lady terrifies me, and not in a good way.

“The Curse of the Black Spot” has been the season’s only real misstep so far. But even despite plot holes big enough—as one forum commenter put it—to drive a TARDIS through, it was still a fun episode. Not nearly as bad as, say, “Love and Monsters,” “Fear Her,” or “The Great Dalek Caper” episodes.

What I really want to talk about, though, is “The Doctor’s Wife.” I’ve been excited for this episode since I heard it was written by Neil Gaiman. My favorite comic writer and my favorite tv show? Yes, please!

With the title, I assumed this would be a River-centric episode, which is definitely no problem for me, but what we got was even better (Although there was that cryptic reference to River near the end—what was that about?).

I have this weird obsession with the TARDIS—she’s the last thing left of the Doctor’s home planet, and the two do seem to have a very intimate relationship. In “Parting of the Ways,” it always seemed like Rose and the TARDIS worked together to save the Doctor (“I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me”), the man they both loved, and I always had the weird feeling that when Rose said,” I want you safe, my Doctor,” the TARDIS was speaking through her. Either way, Rose and the TARDIS seemed to have come to a mutual understanding. One reason Rose has always been my favorite companion is that she got to know the TARDIS on an intimate level and always respected and loved her.

That’s also why I was so offended when the Doctor snapped his fingers to open the TARDIS in “Forest of the Dead”—a lack of basic respect.

HATE!

Anyway, so I love how this relationship is basically this weird epic romance, and that the show acknowledges that in this episode. We get to know the TARDIS as a person—and she’s weird and wonderful and more than a bit crazy—kind of like our Doctor.

She also sort of looks like Helena Bonham-Carter, no?

And awesomely, we find that she chose him—she stole a Timelord and ran away with him. Her love for him, and the tragic nature of that love, is both beautiful and sad. In many ways, the story resembles “The Girl in the Fireplace”—a ship who’s a woman/ a woman who’s a ship—and the ending is just as sad and inevitable.

So I think my new theory about Amy’s pregnancy is totally plausible. It would definitely do some timey-wimey madness to a pregnancy, no?

Which reminds me:

Dear Writers, The Doctor never needs to use the phrase “spacey-wacey” again, is that clear? It makes him sound like a toddler—in an uncomfortable way, not a cute way. “Timey-wimey” is sort of cute—though not as cute as you clearly think it is. “Spacey-wacey” is just embarrassing for everyone involved. Thanks.

The Vampire Diaries Season 2 Finale Or, Why It Should Have Ended Last Week

It's my blog and I can use this picture if I want to.

This past Thursday was the season finale of The Vampire Diaries. I've made it clear before that I love this show. The characters are engaging, the episodes are incredibly action-packed, and there is lots of pretty. That said, the fast-paced episodes can potentially be a problem for the show's writers when all the elements of a season finale occur in the penultimate episode and the writers have to try to top that in their actual finale.

Some of the major plot points of last week's episode: Elena, vamp-Jenna, and Jules are in place as the sacrifices for Klaus's ritual; Jules is killed; Stefan shows up asking to take Jenna's place in the ritual; Klaus stabs Stefan and kills Jenna anyway, then completes the ritual; Elena dies, but is brought back to life by a spell done by the gang, which kills Uncle/Daddy John; Elijah is set to kill Klaus but stops when Klaus promises to reunite Elijah with the rest of their family; Jenna's funeral; Damon tells Stefan he was bitten by were-Tyler and is now condemned to death.

Whew! Got all that? It's the perfect season finale, ending with several deaths and a couple of major cliffhangers. It's no wonder that the actual finale can't live up to all that.

I'm not saying the finale isn't a good, solid episode. It is. It just should have been the first ep of the 3rd season. Instead, the show is starting new story arcs that won't be picked up until the new season actually starts.

It begins with the gang, especially Elena and Jeremy, attempting to deal with Jenna's death. Elena convinces Jeremy that they have to try to get along normally, and eventually things will get easier. Stefan immediately spills the beans to Elena about Damon's wolf bite, breaking his promise to Damon, which is typical. Damon has been dealing with his impending death by attempting to apologize to Elena for force-feeding her his blood, then drinking and trying to kill himself by hanging out in the sunlight without his ring (he's stopped by Stefan, who insists they'll find a cure).

Stefan ends up going to Klaus looking for that cure, who conveniently has it... his blood. After killing Elijah (who, like Damon, seems to always get fucked over by those he loves), Klaus agrees to give Damon the cure... for a price. Stefan must fall back off the blood wagon and run away with him (not like that... although a girl can dream). He agrees, Damon is cured, the end. Also, Sheriff Liz shot and killed Jeremy, Bonnie brought him back to life with a spell, and now he can see vampire ghosts.

The good:

Ian Somerhalder's mortally ill Damon. Somerhalder did not bring the pretty this ep, which is actually a good thing. Dude looked and sounded like he was actually dying. Though no one who has watched this show for any length of time actually thought Damon would die, Somerhalder's acting really did make it seem like there was a chance.

Most of Damon's scenes with the other characters. His apology to Elena at the beginning of the ep was spot-on. I also really liked Stefan's refusal to accept his brother's death and willingness to do anything to cure him (including becoming Klaus's lover... was I the only one hoping for this?). It's always nice to see the brothers acting like they actually care about each other. Also, Damon's friendship with Alaric gives me the warm fuzzies--though I still don't understand why people (including Damon) keep insisting that Jenna's death was Damon's fault.

Liz knows about Caroline and actually seems to accept her now! Caroline is my favorite and it's nice to see things go right for her once in awhile. Chick deserves it.

The not-so-good: To be fair, I don't actually know how to fix a lot of these things. They just seemed like mis-steps to me. Which is why I don't write for a tv show.

Damon's cure just seemed awfully easy to find, especially after Rose's death. I get that it wasn't actually easy to obtain, but it seems pretty obvious that the blood of a werewolf (or was it just Klaus's blood?) will heal a werewolf bite. Where's Tyler when you need him?

Damon's deathbed scene. So cliche! I had been basically enjoying Damon's redemption arc until this episode. He's turned into a really heroic guy who does some stupid things along the way. This is just a terrible way to end that arc. A deathbed tear-fest with a loving Elena mopping his brow? I kept having flashbacks to Little Women and Sense & Sensibility. Damon has become the damsel dying of the consumption confessing her sins and desperately begging for the forgiveness of those she might have offended with her paltry wrongs. It's so pathetic!

Elena kissing Damon was sweet, I guess, but I find myself holding out hope that Damon will find a nice bad-ass lady vamp who will actually love him for who he is, and bring out the best in him without holding him back or trying to neuter him. Also, when Elena insisted she liked Damon "just as he is," did anyone get inappropriate flashbacks to Bridget Jones's Diary?

Maybe if Elena had been wearing a reindeer jumper.

The only way they can make this storyline work for me is if Stefan, Elena, and Damon have a threesome. There, I said it.

Liz kills Jeremy. I'm starting to hate this whole "magic ring" mythology. So it works if Jeremy is killed by a vampire, but not by a human? And it works if a vampire is killed by either a human or a vampire? Why does it matter for humans who does the killing? I really don't understand how someone can come back to life after having his neck snapped or being pushed down the stairs as long as it's Damon (or some other vamp) that does the deed. Also, why doesn't the ring protect Damon from werewolf bites? Honestly, it seems like the complicated nature of this particular mythology is just a really convenient way to get Jeremy where the writers want him in next season's plot.

On a similar note, though, I hate that Bonnie uses a spell to bring Jeremy back to life. Now that it's established that this can happen, why the hell couldn't Bonnie have brought back Jenna, or her grams, for that matter.

Sorry to complain so much, but this is just lazy writing. A season finale is supposed to get someone really excited for the next season, but right now all I'm doing is obsessing over plot holes, so obviously this episode did not do its job. Oh well, despite all this, the season as a whole has been spectacular, and one relatively bad episode can't take that away. I'm still looking forward to next season and hoping some of my issues will be taken care of.