Classic tv: Six Feet Under, Season 5

 I have this horrible habit of buying whole seasons of tv shows I’ve never seen because I don’t want to wait for Netflix to send them one disc at a time (even though I’m actually a really slow tv watcher). So I bought the whole series of Six Feet Under after falling in love with the first few episodes last summer. I found the show, about a family of funeral directors, to be really quite powerful. The Fishers, the show’s central dysfunctional family, should be annoying, but the writing and acting is so deft that I ended up sympathizing with all of them.

But now that I’m in the middle of the fifth season, I’m now facing the fact that once it’s over, I’ll have five seasons worth of DVDs that I’ll never watch again. The downhill slope really started for me sometime around season four, when David was abducted and tortured for a whole episode. I can’t even articulate why, but that particular hour of television almost made me stop watching the show altogether. But I’ve stuck it out and so far continue to be disappointed.

Now that the show is almost done, all of those incredibly flawed but still well-rounded and sympathetic characters are now downright unlikable. In season one, the only characters I downright disliked were Brenda and Keith. Now, everyone has done a 180. Keith and Brenda are fine, but everyone else (with the exception of David—who is forever awesome) is completely awful—I’m looking at you, Claire, Ruth, Rico, and Nate.

I’m all for complex, dynamic characters, but when most of your cast loses everything that makes them human or relatable, your show has a real problem. And it’s pretty sad to think that I’m actually relieved to be nearing the end of what was once a really great show—and the prospect of getting rid of all those damn discs.

Happiness is... a good cup of coffee.

So I recently bought a French press, and it's really brought my coffee addiction to a whole new level. Is there anything better than a warm, aromatic, sweet cup of coffee?

Doctors have all sorts of opinions over whether coffee is actually good for you, but really, who cares? When something so simple can make your day so much easier to endure, I say it's worth it.

Happiness is... videos of adorable animals.

I'm not sure why, but this makes me laugh and laugh. Happy Halloween!

Happiness is... mocking ridiculous things

I think part of being happy is just making sure to live mindfully and actually notice the good things. That's why I'd like to start a series of posts just about things that make me happy.

The first is Ellen's endorsement of Bic For Her pens. How did we live for so long using man-pens?

Depression hurts

I had a student once who came to me with the idea of writing a paper over how she doesn't believe in anti-depressants. Upon talking to her further, it became clear that she actually didn't have much of a clue as to what she was talking about, but it's attitudes like hers that may have kept me from the help I needed for so long.

I've suffered from depression for well over a decade, but have only taken medicine for a couple of years. I was depressed, but I was really good at hiding it, and my parents apparently explained what they did see away as normal teenage angst. So I never got help, and somehow I convinced myself that I could think my way out of it-- if I just got really into religion, if I started meditating, if I had a different personality-- I wouldn't be depressed anymore.

Everything came to a head about 3 years ago, though. I had just gotten my M.A. and didn't have a job, so I moved back in with my parents, which was... an adventure. I love my mother dearly, but she also has her share of crazy, and her crazy and mine don't mix very well. Plus, I was substitute teaching and working a night job, and basically hated life. My symptoms also got a lot worse. I would fly into rages at the least provocation, start crying for no reason, and try to make a martyr of myself. It was past time to see a doctor.

And the truth is, life is much better now. The pills didn't turn me into some zombie; I'm still myself. I still feel sad, but I'm better able to deal with it now. My dog has finally gotten to a point where he doesn't automatically hide when I start to cry for some reason. I still sometimes feel guilty about trying to manage my feelings with chemicals, but I'm still so fucked up in other ways that life seems a bit more manageable now.

How not to be an asshole on social media

I know it's the "in" thing right now to take social media fasts, and I definitely understand the impulse. The trouble is, for many people, social media is the best, or only, way to keep track of friends and family who live all over the world. For example, I live in the-middle-of-nowhere, Texas, and Facebook is sometimes the only contact I have with people I actually like.

I think the problem many people have with social media is the fact that people are assholes. And no, I'm not new to the Internet. I've always known this. Many people are assholes just for the sake of being assholes, and the Internet just makes it easier for them. But I think some people genuinely don't understand that their behavior is shitty, and they need someone to call them out on it.

In my mind, and YMMV, but I feel like Facebook is a place for people to post things that interest them, things they're doing, and things that make them happy-- to benefit themselves and so that their friends can get to know just who you are. I may not be into everything my friends post, and I may not agree with them all the time, and if that's the case, I have several options: I can ignore that particular post, I can unfriend or unsubscribe to that person, or I can humbly argue with them. In my mind, arguments aren't forbidden on Facebook, as long as they're mature and respectful, and the arguer understands that the OP should get the last word (because after all, you're posting on their wall).

Sometimes, you have to be firm and unfriend those who don't follow these rules. I knew friending my mom on Facebook would be a problem from the start, and I was confirmed in that belief a few weeks ago when I posted something in support of gay marriage on my wall. My mom responded by posting a bunch of Bible verses, which is fine, but the argument eventually became hurtful when she called and asked me to unfriend everyone who had anything to do with my parents' church-- because I was making them look bad.

I think Pinterest is also really interesting territory, because you don't really have any control over who follows you. I really enjoy Pinterest because it's a really convenient place to keep internet sites and pictures that make you happy. The problem, however, lies with the ability to comment on other people's pins. Actually, I wish that wasn't even a feature. In my opinion, the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" should be true. If a person posts something that they enjoy, don't shit all over it in the comments.

I especially see this basically every time someone posts a picture of President Obama. For every picture, 5000 people take it upon themselves to comment that they hate him. If you hate President Obama that much, leave the people that like him alone and post anti-Obama crap on your own boards. Similarly, if you wouldn't personally get the tattoo that someone likes, who gives a fuck? I don't need to know about that.

So if you expect to have any facebook friends or Pinterest followers in the future, do us all a favor: don't be an asshole.

The Pursuit of Perfection

Warning: This post contains major spoilers of Black Swan.

One of my former students came to see me the other day, and somehow the conversation turned to how much we both liked the movie Black Swan. Yet the reason for his enjoyment of the movie made me really uncomfortable, and at the time I couldn't put my finger on why. He said he liked the movie because it shows that perfection is possible (even though she had to die at the end).

If this is what perfection looks like, I don't want any part of it.

I think he's missing something fundamental about the movie. Yes, Nina achieved perfection at the end of the movie, but at a huge cost. She lost not only her innocence, but also her mother (and her relationships with all other people), her sanity, and of course her life (depending on how you interpret the movie--I don't think it's set in stone that she died at the end). Seriously, what that character experiences in this movie is not pleasant! In effect, she lost everything that made Nina Nina, all for the sake of being a perfect dancer. Some might say it wouldn't be worth it. And for someone to say that they got from the movie that perfection is possible--and a good thing--scares me a little.